One lesson trumps another 

(I'm not talking Donald, either)

I am going to turn 42 this year of 2016. In my lifetime I have been witness to numerous movements in the right directions as a society. However, last night I was informed that society hasn’t come as far as I naively thought it had.

In this day and age men and women fill the high school administrative role. Our school’s conference has gone from having one female high school principal to now four. I have seen this as great progress.

Working high school athletic events poses challenges for me. I am accustomed to helping coach our young people in knowing the line between good and bad sportsmanship. Coaching adults in the crowd always baffles me.

For the first time in my six years as a high school principal I had to escort an adult out of a sporting event. Here’s where my disappointment comes in. I approached the man in a calm fashion and believe I maintained respectful tones and demeanor the entire time of my interaction. Sadly, the man nearly refused to leave.

After an exchange that of course felt longer than it actually was, my husband appears at my side. He also speaks to the man in calm tones and demeanor. Only then did this man begin to move. My insides began to burn. My naïveté was removed forever.

I may also be wrong to make an assumption against this man’s actions. My assumption for his refusal to leave was because I am a woman. I believe the message sent to the crowd, and sadly to my students, was that a man would not listen to a woman until a larger man came to support her.

As I reflect on the situation I wonder if I should have addressed the man in a different way. Should I have raised my voice? Should I have shown more of an aggressive physical presence? This goes against my grain. This is not who I am.

Throughout my life I have worked extremely hard to maintain my composure and my temper. I was trying to provide a lesson that even when people are wrong they can be treated with respect. I’m saddened that my message was trumped by old world thinking. 

Perception serves as reality for all. My reality of the situation may absolutely be skewed. I am not upset with the man as he was fueled by his emotions; he’s human.

My challenge now is to find a way to use this as a lesson for others and myself.