Ways I will improve my multiple facets

Reflection, it’s something I expect of so many around me. It’s only apropos that I take the time to do the same.  A very talented woman, Allison Berryhill, inspired this blog.  She has identified five ways she’ll be a better teacher for next semester. I will follow her suit but in my own way.

6 ways I will be a better principal:

1.     I will get into the classrooms more.  This is one of my favorite things of my job, however, it I don’t schedule the time it slips away.

2.     I will improve upon my communication. I do know that one cannot communicate enough, but I need to do a better job of it.  One thing I have wanted to do since I started in my new role was to have a podcast.  This will happen in second semester.

3.     I will become more positive.

4.     I will find additional ways to work with our students.  We all know that the students of today are not the students of yesterday.  I need to be better prepared on how to help our students of today and tomorrow.

5.     I will be more visible.  I need to be everywhere more. As I reflect on this last semester, I was in my office more than I should have been. Not sure why, just know I was.

6.     I will find more ways to support my teachers.  They are too important and I want them to always feel they have my support.

5 ways I will be a better wife and mother

1.     I will adhere to our original agreement of no work after 5 on Wednesdays and no work on Sundays.  This has gotten lax and I need to get it back on track.  Just because the boys are in my office at these times does not equate to their time.

2.     I will cook more than one meal every three months. Many of our local restaurants will be disappointed in this choice, but this is out of hand.  Plus, cooking is therapeutic for me, and as surprising as this is to some, I've improved greatly.

3.     I need to read more with the boys.  I miss when I would read to them before bed. 

4.     I need to help with keeping up with the house. This will equate to picking up before bed, making our bed in the morning, etc.

5.     I need to do better with communicating with Paul.  He shouldn’t learn about things from conversations I have with others.

5 ways to be a better me:

1.     I will eat healthier.

2.     I will exercise at least three times a week.

3.     I will go to bed at a more reasonable hour.

4.     I will take time to read for enjoyment.  All of my reading has been professional.

5.     I will recognize the blessings in my life.

2012 will be an amazing year.  I look forward to how I’ll be able to reflect on how I did to accomplish the aforementioned statements.

Happy New Year to one and all!

Tweaking the November Challenge

I try to express my gratitude as often as possible.  However, I’m going to take it to a public forum and share 30 things I’m thankful for.  These are in no particular order.

1.     Paul makes me a whole person.  He truly is the yin to my yang.  I hope he knows how much I adore him.

2.     Zachary and Devin make my heart smile.  I didn’t know I was capable to love as much as I love them.

3.     Beth Joy has always been my mother who I knew loved me. I am so glad that she is now my best friend.  She knows how to keep things in perspective for me.

4.     January 11, 1993. A date in history that helped turn my life in a new direction.

5.     My brother DJ has always looked out for me.  His family is a blessing.

6.     Lyle came into our lives and showed us better ways to be.

7.     My dad always tells me how proud he is of me.

8.     John and Tracy have added so much to my life.

9.     Nieces and nephews for making me smile and laugh every chance they get.

10. In-laws who always make me feel like I am where I’m supposed to be.

11. Extended family for accepting me for who I am.

12. Atlantic High School faculty is comprised of amazing teachers.  I appreciate how they never back away from challenges and truly want to do the best for our students.

13. AHS Student Council and NHS for setting great examples for our student body.

14. The AHS student body for being our students.

15. Cathy K., the queen of AHS.  She is the backbone of AHS.  I can never thank her enough for all that she does.

16. Danna and Amber for always working so hard.

17. Josh R. for helping keep things in perspective and for working to make a difference.

18. Friends for continually showing their support.

19. Our home is where I’m most comfortable.

20. Days when I can be home and cuddle with our family while watching movies.

21. The examples set by my grandparents serve as my guides to be better.

22. Twitter, where I find some great resources from others around the state and where I can share my thoughts on anything.

23. Facebook for keeping me connected to people who have left handprints on my heart.

24. Blogspot for which I wouldn’t have an avenue to share my thoughts.

25. Mr. Mendez, my third grade teacher, for recognizing that I needed more help with reading and never gave up on me.

26. Miss Shaw, my fifth grade teacher, for talking to me with respect and for expecting more from me.

27. Those who invested in making me be better than I imagined I could be. I work to make all proud, myself included.

28. People who work to make the world a better place.

29. The Big Bang Theory creators for making a show that helps take my mind off of things.

30. My life experiences because it is through these that I have become who I am and continue to grow to be.

Through a son's eyes

One role that I never knew how I'd be was my most important role, a mom.  Growing up I never was one of those girls who couldn't wait to get married and have children of her own.  In fact that thought only even began after I met the most amazing man, now my husband and best friend.

Our sons are quite remarkable.  We are extremely blessed.

Something that we started to do a couple of years ago was the keeping of special things they say or do.  Z and D love hearing what we record in their books.  The last entry in D's book is probably going to be one of the entries I will love hearing.

We were cuddling on the couch watching a program when a Victoria's Secret commercial came on.  D guffawed at the women in their underwear, and I said, "They're beautiful and look healthy."

D asked, "You think they are pretty?"

"Yes, I do."

Then the most amazing thing sprang from his lips, "I think you're prettier than they are."

He has no idea how that statement will live with me forever.  I hope he always sees me with so much love in his eyes.

Back-to-School

Back-to-school and trying to get back into some sort of groove and routine is our latest adventure.  

The first day I was worried about how Devin would do.  This was the first year where Zachary wouldn’t be in the same building as him.  What was I worried about?  Devin was a trooper and I don’t even think he flinched as he walked on in to his home away from home.  In fact, he was only worried about whether or not Mrs. G would think his shirt was funny.  He’s decided he should be the class clown especially once others got to see his shirt the second day too.  (After reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and seeing the movies Devin is thinking about how he’ll be remembered).

Zachary took everything in stride and was happy to be in Mr. H’s class with so many of his friends.  He was thrilled that he only had math homework the first week.  Zachary will also have to get used to only having one recess this year.  Hard to believe he hits double digits in a couple of weeks.

Paul has taken the biggest step this year.  He has transferred to the fifth grade.  This is the first time in his fourteen years as a teacher where he will have a self-contained classroom.  I love seeing the excitement he exudes as he works in his classroom and prepares lessons for the week.

Entering my second year as high school principal has me ecstatic too.  We are the building of internal change.  I am anxious to see how students will grow because of all the efforts their teachers, paraeducators, staff, and administrators will put forth. 

I love learning, whether it’s my own, my sons’, my husbands’, our students’, our teachers’, whomever’s.  I love it!  Here’s to continuing our life educations!

It's not just about the 3 Rs: National Teacher Appreciation Week

At the beginning of the year I believe I told teachers at AHS that had it not been for some very special educators in my life I could, and probably would have, gone down a very different path—not a positive one by any means. 

During third grade I was granted the gift of a teacher, James L. Mendez.  He was the teacher who pulled me aside one day because he didn’t like whom he saw me hanging around with (fifth graders who drank and smoke).  While he was a phenomenal teacher that taught me advanced math and helped recognize I had dyslexia, he is more important to me because he taught me, “Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.”

Miss Marta E. Shaw was the angel I had in fifth grade.  I remember so many extras she did for me.  Her greatest impacts on me were the following: Drugs and alcohol will kill you; Think before you speak; Reading can take you places.

Carrie Allen helped me fall in love with Shakespeare and to whom I would often think of when I taught English.  While we had a very positive relationship when I was in high school, it wasn’t until after I graduated that I would learn how much she did behind the scenes for me.  Of course these I learned from others who thought I should know.

Richard K. Layson, my grandfather, taught me so much.  He taught me that through hard work anything could be accomplished.  Grandpa taught me why it’s important to give back.  He taught me that there is a time for listening and observing and many times more for this than talking.  Grandpa taught me so much more, and the interesting part is it was mostly taught through example.

Every day of my life I have had a teacher who believed in me and fought for me when I couldn’t fight for myself.  Teachers do make an impact on their students and the world.

During this week I encourage you to take time to thank a teacher who has made a difference in your life.

(PS: The photo is of a headstone that marks a grave that the women in the Hoppe family adopted.  It was their belief, which is carried on by my mother, that no teacher's grave should go unattended. Another valuable lesson.)

Another opportunity to be an educator

Life has been crazy busy! I know my world typically feels like that, but lately I’m in hyper-speed. Therefore, I’ve not taken much time to reflect on much of anything.

Last night AHS held Prom.  As I watched the kids, who really behaved themselves very well, I realized the loss of a different type of education.  The education of being a gentleman. 

As the mother of two young boys I recognize that this education is crucial to their futures.  Some might think that can’t possibly be the case.  I stand by it.  What could possibly make being a gentleman important?

Our boys will open doors for ladies, hold their right arms out to escort them, shake hands firmly with all, look people in the eyes when talking or listening to them, chew with their mouths closed, say please and thank you, among many other things.

Normally, I do not have values that are considered “old fashioned.”  This is one way of thinking that may be thought of as old fashioned, but it’s still highly fashionable.  One of the reasons I fell in love with Paul is because he was/is a gentleman and always treated me like a lady.

These are simple tools that I need to provide for our children.  These tools will help set them apart from others and help earn them the respect of others.  Which equal ways to help them become successful in whatever paths they choose.

Next year I need to remember to teach our juniors and seniors some of these simple tools.  If anything, maybe I can just show them how to offer an arm to their dates.  Another opportunity for me to serve as their educator.

Coughs, sneezes, aches, and pains, OH MY!

Today I learned that another good friend was about to take on a major battle for her health.  I am reminded of the most important tool to fight against any illness, not just cancer: Maintaining a positive attitude.

That’s the least I can do, but it can also be the most challenging.  However, if it helps someone I WILL do it.  Why keep a positive attitude? Again, it goes back to other posts I’ve made.  Attitude is energy and energy is powerful.

Negativity is a virus that drains everything it encounters. Positivity brings about real change. It’s easier to fall into the “woe is me” thoughts.  However, I promise you, people will experience great change when trying to find light in darkness.

I challenge you to try it. Think of something you desire. Make a statement to the universe. Focus on it.

One year of high school we had a cheer sponsor who shared the following quote with us, “If your mind can conceive it and your heart can believe it, you can achieve it.”

Angie, Heather and Kimberly—this is dedicated on your behalf.  I believe that the medical professionals who are working to improve your health will be able to achieve great things for you.  I know the battle will be rough, but I am confident you will find grace and healing.

Sending loads of positive energy your way along with so many others! 

With love, Heather Joy

Working to be a Pro

The power of the universe is awe-inspiring.  Last year this was solidified at my core.  Last February after an incredible woman told me how her son and his friends thought I should be the next principal of AHS, I started the process to make it happen. 

Once I turned in my cover letter and résumé I began to make proclamations to the universe,  “I will be the next principal of AHS.”  Universe responded and I became the principal.

Last week I said to various people that our wrestling team would beat Williamsburg in the first round of the State Dual Tournament.  They did, by 1 point. They finished in fourth place, both at individual state and team state.

This morning I read a fellow school administrator’s blog about anti-bullying and about how schools should be focused on pro-kindness.  It reminded me of something Mother Teresa had said, “I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”

She knew the secret.  I find it to be more and more true.  When I find myself feeling down, that is how my world is. When I put thoughts and statements of how fortunate I am, amazing things happen.

The pro-kindness is what I want to put into circulation for all around me…especially my students.  I need to do a better job for calling on people for the good ways they treat one another. 

AHS has AMAZING people within its walls.  It is my responsibility to do more to recognize them.  I welcome any creative ideas others are willing to share.

Looking forward to being more of a PRO:

Pro-kindness

Pro-family

Pro-friendship

Pro-innovation

Pro-education

Pro-communication

Pro-progression

Pro…

More two-way streets needed for travel

We need more two-way streets than those that travel only one-way.  Too many times lately I’ve had conversations about the lack of respect of this person to so-and-so, this teen to that adult, that adult to that teen, the list is as long as there are types of relationships.

I was raised that this is a basic courtesy I am to extend to all I come into contact with.  My parents insisted on it. My teachers expected it. My friends welcomed it. I appreciated it.

However, the more I gained a sense of who I was the more I gained an understanding of who deserved my respect.  Ultimately, I respect people for numerous reasons, such as:

1.     Honesty: It’s easy to respect people who are truthful with me.  There’s nothing worse than doubting what someone tells me.

2.     Hard work:  I value people’s efforts so much and get frustrated by those who only skim by.

3.     Stay true to who they are: This is one of the hardest things for people to do. I say, “There’s only one of you in this world.  Be YOU!”

4.     Those who strive to make a difference: The world needs more givers and fewer takers.

5.     People who do what they’ll say they’ll do.

What I do to show respect:

1.     Listen, in fact, I listen harder.

2.     Be considerate.

3.     Keep my promises.

4.     Show up on time.

5.     Use my manners.

6.     Encourage others.

7.     Be fair.

8.     Go out of my way.

9.     Help others maintain their dignity.

10.  Do not make assumptions.

I do believe that everyone should be given respect from the get-go, but that doesn’t automatically equate to that it’s always kept.  It has to be maintained.

I look forward to traveling down more two-way streets.  I hope others will join me in my travels.

Nose itches, ears ringing, all about people

Many people know I am a superstitious person.  So the old saying, “Your nose itches when someone is thinking of you and your ears ring when someone is talking about you,” is one I’ve believed for years.

Therefore, I’m wondering if people’s noses have been itching.

Driving home from the Iowa High School State Wrestling Tournament Rod Stewart’s song, “You’re in my Heart,” played on Sirius’s The Blend channel.   Any time I hear Rod Stewart I think of Lisa, who was one of my dearest friends that sadly I haven’t spoken to in so long I can’t remember when we last talked.

I miss her.  Attributes of Lisa’s that I always admired were that she was smart, honest, loyal, funny, hard working, goal oriented, and real.  We had the type of friendship where we could go a time without talking, pick up the phone and talk for hours.

As I continued to drive I thought about more people whom I made so many memories with: Smiley, Drake, Tricia, Vern, Jen, Shawn, Cade Twins, Corky, Rhonda, Adonia, and Lana.

Growing up my friends were my family.  I learned so much from all of these people:

1.     Laughing so hard (sometimes someone might have even wet her pants in the front seat of my car, the USS Layson) that no one else will ever get the joke

2.     Protect one another (whether the heartbreak of a parents’ divorce to the fear of what will happen by breaking up with a boyfriend)

3.     Gaining an education about birds and the bees (first one while sitting on some hay bales)

4.     Gaining a new perspective (whether it came from running all the way back to Peru or long talks during play practice or Swing Choir)

5.     How to welcome others into a home (sleepovers on school nights)

6.     Being boy crazy (Not Shawn, of course, but definitely the rest of us)

7.     Sharing space as well as wardrobes (Locker buddies!)

8.     Listening and just being together while cruising

9.     Becoming the type of person I want to be

The list is actually much longer than I could ever include in a blog.   

An area of education that some tend to forget about is the Life Education.  Throughout relationships I’ve had, have, will have, I continue to learn.  Another way I choose to be a lifelong learner.

Thank you for being such great teachers! Love and miss you all!  

Wonder what happens when you write about a person?  Does the hand itch?

Is it okay to value personal meaning more than actual one?

“Mom, what does Valentine’s Day stand for?” Zachary asked after I tucked him into bed.

“Well, Honey, I remember it is to celebrate a saint, but I’m not totally sure.  It’s a day for us to celebrate the relationships in our lives…” I searched for some type of explanation.

How sad is it that I don’t know the true meaning behind Valentine’s Day? Is it so wrong that I don’t or is it okay to stick with my answer to Zach?

I choose to believe my answer to Zachary—a day to celebrate relationships in our lives.

Every night before I close my eyes for what I hope is a few hours, literally every night, I say thanks for the blessings in my life.  It goes usually like this:

“Thank you for the amazing husband I have, extraordinary boys I get to call sons, the amazing family who loves me, the support others give me, amazing (I know I overuse this adjective and yet I still keep using it) career I have.  I will work to make you proud as well as myself.  I will strive to make a difference every day.  Thank you for always believing in me and giving me guidance as you can.”

Now, I say this to various entities: a God I’m coming to learn more about, my grandparents, and so many other energies I can’t yet identify.

Relationships that have helped me become who I am and will be deserve statements of gratitude every day, not just Valentine’s.  So while I’ll give some small tokens to some special people to acknowledge them on Valentine’s Day, it’s more important that I continue to appreciate them and give thanks for them on a daily basis.

Thank you for being a part of my life and helping me to become better every day.

Thick or thin crust? Not exactly...

 Throughout my life people have been telling me I just need a thicker skin. I completely disagree.  Believe me, I know things in my life would have been and could be easier if I had a thick and impenetrable skin. However, I’ll stick with thin, thank you.

Too feel and too feel deeply is a gift, not a curse.  It can make things challenging, but it can also make life beautiful and inspiring. 

By feeling deeply I have grown as a person and have gained amazing relationships.  I truly believe that by being the type of person who can be affected easily by others I am able to better understand a wider variety of people.  This is crucial in the path I have chosen to follow.

I am not, nor do I want to be, impervious to criticism.  It is through criticism that great things have come to be for me. 

The criticism is painful to receive, but how I respond is in my control, one of the few things in life I can control.  I do not forget criticism. Instead I keep a bank of criticisms to pull from to problem solve for new experiences.   

So many of the things I experience or have experienced lend to reflection on what ifs for our children.  Do I want my kids to have thick skin? Yes and no.  I don’t want them to be hurt, but I do want them to really feel, feel to their cores when necessary.

While I will still appreciate how people will tell me that “things will get easier” or “you just need a thicker skin,” I know that inside I will say a word of thanks for feeling as I do.

A wish for my sons

Every parent has many hopes and dreams for their children.  I am no different.  However, I wonder if my biggest wish for my sons would be the same as many other parents.

What I wish for most for the boys are that they are lucky enough to find someone who makes them as happy and fulfilled as their father does for me.  Paul is my better half, my true complement, my support, my best friend.

It's funny to think back on our 18 years together.  Some know that I used to be the girl who said she was never getting married and never having children...then this guy comes into Dairy Chef in the winter of '92.

He was wearing jeans, a motorcycle t-shirt, black motorcycle boots, a Peru State College football jacket, a 3-4 inch long goatee, and two silver hoop earrings in his left ear.  Let's just say he was the opposite of most of the guys I had dated by this time in my life.

There was something about him.  I can't explain it, but I felt an  immediate attraction to him and he had NO idea who I was and wasn't even looking.  I have never forgotten that day.

Eventually we started hanging out with mutual friends and in May of '93 we began a life together.  I couldn't believe it.  I was (still am) head over heels for a guy...started dreaming about being married to him...having his children (two boys that would be named Zachary Robert and Devin John (aka DJ)).

Paul has always made me feel important and loved.  I can guarantee that my life would not be what it is today had I not met Paul.  In fact, it's frightening to think what my life could have been like.  I thank God every night for the gift of our love and for having such an amazing husband.

January 19, Paul celebrates his birthday.  I hope he has at least some idea of how much I love and adore him.  I could not be who I am today if it wasn't for him.

I pray that Zachary and Devin will find the same kind of love in their life and that they grow to be the kind of men that their father is.  These will be the greatest successes of my life.

Thank you, Paul, for being the man that you are and loving me as you do.  I love you more than you will ever know.  Hope your birthday is extra special!

A true gift, my mother

I will never forget a couple of very difficult phone calls Lyle delivered to me in regards to my mom. The first one was January 11, 1993.  My mom, the courageous, the beautiful, the intelligent, Beth Joy, made what was probably a very difficult decision for her at the time.

As a college freshman, I, of course, knew it all. My actions and my words proved that for me more times than I care to remember.  At this time in my life my friends were my family. The only blood relatives that I regularly sought out were not in my immediate family. 

My heart was stone, especially to my mother. Little did I know that she had decided to give me the most precious gift, herself.  She took care of herself and we began to heal...together.  Every day our relationship grew stronger and stronger.  A jackhammer attacked the stone of my heart...piece by piece...chunk by chunk.

Over the last eighteen years I've had a mom, a confidant, a challenger, a support, a number one fan.  I am so appreciative that she has made so many positive choices for herself and for our family that she will never really grasp it. 

Sometimes she feels guilt and I try to assure her how thankful I am for the life I've led thanks to choices she's made.  The choices are what create the person. 

So, Mom, on the anniversary of that very difficult decision, thank you for choosing as you have.  I am proud to be your daughter! Much love!

Grief, a not so funny thing

Loss of a loved one has always been a struggle for me.  I've never dealt well with it.  I usually question my emotions and whether I should be feeling what I'm feeling.

That's how I identify grief: confusing pot of emotions.

Usually I start off by being mad because I feel robbed in some way.  There's never enough time.  No matter whether or not I think I've truly let the other know how important they are in my life.  I always want more time.

Sadness is inevitable.  And it usually comes in waves and not always at times that make sense.  I used to believe that I was weak if I cried.  Now I know myself well enough to know that it takes real strength for me to cry because that means I'm allowing myself to really feel...feel to the marrow...to my soul.

Guilt sometimes comes with my grief.  I'll remember some horrific thing I had said, or in rare occasions did,and wonder if I had made peace with my atrocious statement/action.

Helplessness is dominant.  I want to ease the pain of those who are even more affected than I am.  To tell the truth, it's selfish.  By helping I can forget my pain for awhile and focus on another's.  It's wrong, but I do it.

Eventually I come around to relief.  I'm able to talk about the loved one lost.  Share memories. Look through photos.  Hear others tell stories.

Grief carries many masks for each of us.  I hope that as I deal with our latest loss I can get to where I can remember how Mike Larsen always made me smile, always made my boys feel extra special, always greeted me warmly, always had an aura of light around him that radiated from his smile.

I'll get there.  Hopefully, my friends, colleagues, and his family will too.

For Mike...

Education World ® Technology Center: Doug Johnson: A Proposal for Banning Pencils

Education World ® Technology Center: Doug Johnson: A Proposal for Banning Pencils

Future Paleontologist

IMG_7900
Originally uploaded by heatherjoymckay

Welcome to a view unlike most!

Before my grandfather died he told me that I should write a book.  That is one of many statements he delivered that will remain with me forever.  While this is not the book I may one day write, it will serve as an avenue to get things started.

The views posted here are mine, as lame or twisted as they may be or become. One of the many gifts Americans are given is the gift of being able to think for ourselves through powerful freedom granted by the forefathers and protected by numerous men and women of the Armed forces.

A New Year represents another new start. New starts are vital to one's survival.  They allow for us to own our mistakes and to learn from them as we venture down new paths.

2010 was an amazing year for me.  Our boys are thriving and growing, Paul and I are as close as ever, and I am growing professionally.  However, there is always room for improvement.

I have always believed as Mufasa stated to Simba in The Lion King that I am more than I've become.  Each day I work to become the best that I am to be.  2011 will be no different for me.  I will strive to make real differences in the various areas of my life.  I will strive to post updates weekly to my blog.  Here's to working toward more in 2011.

~Heather Joy